Explosive Content Inside💥
Issue 35 is on fire
Cheers to another Tuesday! Right this way to Issue 35…
Summer vacation is around the corner, but we’re not vacating. The kids are in camps and I’m working. Let that sink in. It’s inspiring.
Now on to this week’s hot topics. By the way, if you think I’m struggling to get this newsletter out while holding a real job, you’re one-hundred percent correcto. Still, I’m here and you are, too. God, I’m grateful.
Some of My Favorite Words Ever Written
I’m five weeks into my new job and happy as a clam. Get a load of these inspiring words from my boss, David, on our company’s Slack channel.
“Simone, you should be as edgy and playful as you can and use us to reign you back. Don’t edit that craziness out of you! It’s what makes you special. We should be balanced as a team, but not necessarily as individuals.”
A-fucking-men!
We all know, or most of us do, that my writing is on the playful, edgy side—you ain’t seen the half of it!
Not all brands want my writing voice on full tilt, but they sure as hell benefit from some of it. So, whose job is it to balance the wacky?
Take this away: It’s not your job to be a well-rounded ball of Oompa Loompa perfection. It’s your job to be you, which thankfully, you do particularly well.
Guns and Shoes
I’ve tried and failed twice to get to my TSA PreCheck interview. It’s not hard, but it requires a 45-minute drive in any one direction I don’t want to go. I’m very close to throwing down $$$ for Clear—a far more expensive, yet convenient option.
In any case, this article caught my eye. If gun owners underwent security clearance similar to TSA PreCheckers, what would happen? We’d be safer, and responsible gun owners could continue carrying their guns, so long as they acted normal-ish (I added the “ish” because I don’t see any good reason to own a gun).
Noted, I’m a middle-aged, white, vegetarian, living in Marin County. But still.
Current background checks and gun screenings look at things like criminal records and drug abuse. That’s a start. But…
“The Buffalo shooter obtained his gun legally because he didn’t have a criminal record. A system that took into consideration more factors — his young age, the type of weapon he wanted to buy, and the amount of ammunition he requested — could have flagged him as a danger.”
Enough gun-talk. Let’s move on to shoe bombs. Do you know why you have to take off your shoes when you walk through security (unless you have TSA or Clear :)? It’s not September 11. It’s Richard Reid. Get a load of these platforms!
A few months after September 11, Richard tried detonating these beauties on an American Airlines flight and we’ve been removing our shoes for twenty years because of it. Damn you, Richard!
The silver lining, the ASPEN shoe brand asked me to do some copywriting for them. I put together the following lines: These shoes are the bomb, actually! 💣 Shop our explosive sale!💥 Pickup a pair of these killer shoes today. 🥾
I’m going to hell.
Clean Up Your Mind
Recently, I hired a mom from the kids’ school to streamline my life. She tore about my home and put it back together with fewer things and more spots for the things I have.
Like I told my friend Arthur who has multiple disheveled closets in his abode, “your exterior is a reflection of your interior. Get it together!”
The mom-organizer-lady’s name is Lyndsie and she rocks! Ping me for her info. She’ll clean up your life and your mind.
Piercing Blue Earrings
Emma got her ears pierced again. The first time, we went to Claire’s at the mall (it’s exactly as you imagine). Surprise! They got infected. This time, I booked an appointment at a proper piercing parlor.
If you’re on the fence about where to get pierced, I recommend the real deal over the mall. Twice as expensive. Twice as profesh. Along with two holes in her ears, Emma got a 15-minute lecture on the way our skin heals from a man with more piercings than Heinz has pickles.
You're going to hell, lol! Love ya!
Always a joy to read your writing!