Married with Children
Issue 46 is about evolution
Dear Reader, welcome. Here’s hoping you’re happy, healthy, and wise. Let’s get to it…
Today’s topic is marriage and kids, shocker.
If you’re young(er) and in love, contemplating marriage, just married, desperate to marry, or any variation on the theme, I must tell you something nobody tells you:
In 10 years, you will not be the person you are today. Neither will your partner. You will grow. They will grow. Perhaps you’ll grow together, in parallel, apart, or weave between the two. But, you will grow, and this means you will change.
Expect new leaves to sprout and others to die. Life will take its toll, and you will be wiser and more wonderful for it.
Your wedding vows allude to it, “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part,” or something like that.
It’s a good start—A for effort.
But, what all old people know that young people don’t is that people who stay married (and I’m not one of them) go through many, many, many marriages in one. To believe anything else is your choice, but to believe what I tell you, is very wise.
Living things transform every 7-10 years (companies, too). What worked before will not work forever. You must reevaluate as you approach a new decade.
The slough is often turbulent, painful, and unnerving during this inevitable transition period. But, it’s nature’s way of making way for new growth. You must allow it. To resist or lament its arrival is to spend precious energy in the wrong direction. It’s happening because it’s what happens. Every 7-10 years—monumental shifts. Your marriage is no exception.
There’s a book called, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. The book is fine, but the title is better. What brought you to this moment will not bring you to the next. We must shift our tactics to shift our trajectory. If you’re a sailor (and I’m not), you’re at your best when moving with the wind.
If you navigate with this in mind, expect it, bake it in, and plan for rest stops, evaluation periods, and contract renewals in your marriage, you may experience greater ease and enjoyment as the decades roll on. If you set it and forget it (as most couples do), you’re toast. Marriage is work.
Don’t even get me started on kids. Okay, fine, just for a moment. Adding children to your marriage is like adding gasoline to a fire. They’ll warm your heart, big time. And, they’ll cause anything lurking in the far corners of your souls to ignite.
More specifically, with one kid, you’ll feel a little something. With two kids, the volcano erupts. Not immediately and not catastrophically. But, volcanos must erupt. It’s nature’s way. And, the more pressure you place on them with each new child, the more tenuous they become.
I’m rambling now.
I do not mean to discourage you—quite the opposite. I tell you this in hopes of bringing up something worth talking about with your partner or considering as you enter a partnership.
If you’re old, and you know this already, I see you. If you’re young(er) and I’m taking the wind from your sails, I’m sorry to sound so old—but you’ll understand one day (again, I sound old). ❤️ Until then, as you fall in love, consider my advice.
We Have Liftoff
Speaking of children, one of mine participated in a historic moment for the company I work with—Write of Passage.* But first, a little context: Write of Passage teaches people to find success by writing on the Internet. You probably know writers as a special class of people like journalists and professional authors.
Surely (and don’t call me Shirley), you’ve heard of blogging and social media. But, have you considered some people write short- and long-form content, personally and professionally, and share it online? This form of writing is well-suited for the modern world. This is what Write of Passage teaches in a five-week course twice a year. The newsletter you’re reading at this very moment was birthed while taking Write of Passage.
In any case, today, my colleagues held the first focus group for a Write of Passage designed for high schoolers called Liftoff. Liftoff will teach young adults to write in a way school never will.
It’s not syntax and grammar; it’s a way of embracing what you know, writing about it, and sharing it with the public. In doing so, the obvious happens: your writing improves, as does your thinking. As does your speaking. As do your friendships, your confidence, your financial situation, and your career opportunities. Imagine where you’d be if you learned this was possible as a teenager. 🚀
Liftoff will launch for 100 students ages 14–18 in October. They’re testing the curriculum this week, and my 13-year-old son is joining. I pulled him out of school at lunch today, and I’ll do it again Thursday. His words following the 90-minute session: “Worth skipping school for.” and “Actually, I probably learned quite a bit more there than I would anywhere else.”
I’ll keep you posted as this awesome program takes off.
*Rebrand coming soon.
Honey, What’s for Dinner?
I’ve been enjoying a weekly dinner kit delivery on Sunday evenings. Two meals for two people (Emma doesn’t eat them, but she helps me prep). While I’m not in love with my current choice, Sunbasket, I recommend the concept. It really takes a load off, engages the kids, and brings new flavors into the home.
Treat yourself. Try Green Chef or Good Eggs.
Clogged
I have a pair of Bryr clogs. If you want one too, they’re having a sale on Thursday.
Their made-to-order queue is 4–6 weeks. Their instant gratification sale delivers, well, instant gratification. On Thursday at 9 am PST, go here, and use code: itsgotime!
PS: I’m about a size 8 in real life, and I order a size 8 in Bryr clogs.
PPS: I have no affiliation with Bryr. I’m just a consumer passing along a good consumer good. Enjoy!
LOL
If you’re up for a chuckle, this made me do so.
So much well-earned wisdom for one newsletter!
...to evolution🥂