Please Remain Seated
Issue 16 is sort of long.
Welcome. You’re my favorite subscriber. Shhh, don’t tell the others.
Since our last visit, one Tuesday ago, I’ve thought a lot about why I send this newsletter and why you open it.
A creator adds value. At this point, I’m scratching my itch to publish, but what’s in it for you? You don’t have to answer that. It’s rhetorical.
Know this: your needs, and time, are on my mind.
Onward.
Most mornings, I meditate for 30 minutes. No app. No music. All Simone.
The benefits, thus far: I yell at my kids less. I hardly worry about money (though sometimes I worry I’m not worrying enough). My dreams are sweeter and knowing I give myself this time is calming, which is worth a lot.
I chose 30 minutes because it sounded near impossible, and for a while it was.
Happily, I’m past the part where I felt my skin was on fire and I’d blow up if I didn’t end the session. I never did end the session and I never blew up. Still, the need to jump ship burned, until one day, it didn’t.
Turns out, sticking with things has merit. Today, meditation is not always easy, but it’s never hard. That’s progress.
Meditation or otherwise, take this away: Just. Keep. Going.
Back to the newsletter (and staying the course), I’ve toyed with replaying the week’s stories for you as a way to add value. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese monk, passed away. Sing 2, the movie, is awesome. Arnold Schwarzenegger caused a car accident. Omricon peaked. There’s a war looming between Russia and Ukraine, or not. Betty White died (okay, that was three weeks ago).
But, I’m confident you don’t need to hear this stuff from me. There are far more accurate and credible sources. However, when it comes to Ethan Crumbley, I am the news (Oxford High School reopened yesterday, by the way).
As my newsletter’s existential crisis brewed, a reflection of my own, I listened to Smartless, where Michael Moore dropped a nugget. He told hosts Jason, Sean, and Will, “Know the importance of humor in our time. It’s critical.”
That’s it! The best thing I can do is give you a chance to smile.
There you have it. This newsletter has a purpose. 😊
Morn Walk
On Saturdays when Emma’s at gymnastics, Owen and I go on a walk. We stop for coffee and a donut. Decaf for him, no donut for me. The first time he joined my walk it was pure hell. He followed behind me, complaining and walking like he had lead in his shoes. “I can’t go any faster,” he says. “My heels hurt.”
Your heels hurt? Your heels?
I used to take these walks alone. They were blissful. Just me, nature, and maybe a podcast. But, on this day, all that beauty was usurped by a wronged teen. Have you watched a lion die? Me neither, but I bet they behave similarly.
So, why have I recruited him to walk with me? Because that’s what mothers do. They make their kids go on walks, not because they want to be with them, but because it’s good for the kid. Welcome to parenting!
A couple of Saturdays later, I’m at least seven ahead of him. I couldn’t walk any slower if I tried, literally, impossible. “Coop,* move your butt,” I say. “I’m trying! My tailbone hurts,” he says. Your fucking tailbone?
This is when I launch into a story I’ll never stop telling. “My tailbone broke giving birth to you, so I know a hurt tailbone. Tell me, are you also breastfeeding a newborn? If the answer is no, move it!”
As soon as he gets his decaf iced mocha and donut, nothing hurts (except my stomach at the sight of what he’s consuming).
*I call my children every name but the one we gave them. Owen is Cooper. Emma is Sister. It’s borderline abusive and they will require therapy, no doubt.
Sing 2 With the Girls
On Sunday, while Owen watched football with his dad, Emma and I saw Sing 2 👍👍. Then, we talked about the difference between jail and prison on the shores of San Quentin and graced Target with our presence. “This is the best day ever,” she said. It was pretty great.
Nearer to Beerer
A friend offered me a NA beer at the beach one evening. I sipped it and immediately felt I was cheating on my sobriety. This IS beer, I thought. And, it is, but without the beer. It’s good and I’m not even a beer person. I’m sorry I keep writing “beer.”
In that vein, a virgin bar opened in Dublin. F yes! to evolving our alcohol-obsessed society. This is good news for our children. Let’s get this concept to the US.
Mask-erade
My cool friend had on this cool mask yesterday. It’s out of stock because it’s cool. Check back, as I will, or shop for another color.
Wordle 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
IYKYK (if you know you know).
And, now you do.
Have a beautiful week, everyone.
PS: You can hire me to write for you. If you’re interested, please fill out this brief form. ✍️ Thank you in advance.
Say Wordle! Oh, I know lol.