Reality Doesn't Bite
Issue 93
Greetings, I hope you’re curled up with a good book, a glass of something nice, and there’s a summer breeze kissing your cheeks. Now, put down the book—it’s time for Issue 93.
Reality doesn’t bite—your opinion of what reality is supposed to be, bites.
For example, if you’re a sales associate but believe you ought to be a CEO, you’re suffering. The delta between your reality and what you believe you’re entitled to, imagine you are, or believe yourself capable of being if someone would just give you a fucking chance, is the degree to which you suffer. Reality is manageable. Let it be. There’s nothing more to do.
Pause…
We try to get ourselves out of situations we don’t favor. One of our favorite strategies, if even uncover, is asking the innocent question, why? Why am I here? Why do I feel this way? Why am I not CEO? Why? Why? Why? What you’re really getting at is, what can I do to get out of this situation?
What if we practice staying away from the perils of this question. Why? Because why can masquerade as helpful when it’s actually avoidant.
Why is a thinking question. When you’re thinking, you’re not feeling. Imagine thinking and feeling as toggles on a light switch. When one is on, the other is off.
Therefore, when you’re thinking why, you’re not feeling what. And, the ticket to a new what is feeling through the current what.
So, the next time you ask yourself why, consider it a signal you’re in your head. Even this awareness is progress. If you can do only this, for now, you’re going places (maybe even CEO-hood :).
Merit Worthy
Take it from a gal who wears nearly no makeup—Merit is a solid brand with solid goods.
“Designed to take the stress and time out of your makeup routine while delivering a glowing and natural final look.” Um, kay! Also, it’s considered ‘clean beauty.’
I’d hoped to recommend their new red lip color, Aperitif, but it’s out of stock. Bumm-er! Still, I’m confident you’ll like what you find (and the signature makeup bag they promise with your first order is actually cute—that never happens!).
Merit is Simone approved—is there any higher honor?
Welcome, Baby
The seriousness with which we ought to take procreation—but don’t—is not a joke. The decision to bring children into the world is more significant than any other. Amazingly, the human race continues without much training, and the real-world facts of parenting, beginning with birth, are rarely discussed (openly).
So, if you’re pregnant, know someone who is, or plan to be by the end of this newsletter—congratulations—and I strongly suggest an online birth prep workshop taught by my friend and pelvic floor Physical Therapist Alexis Anderson (if you didn’t know pelvic floor PTs existed, case in point, this very important part of the body is highly neglected).
In preparation for baby, you’ll be showered with strollers and onesies, bibs and bottles, but few people will give you what you really need—help for your undercarriage.
That’s where Alexis comes in. Her Birth Prep Workshop is a must!
—Signed, a seasoned mom of two.
Life and Death Sentences
John and I write to each other weekly. In a seven-day span, I get a letter from him, and he gets a letter from me. When I told a friend this she said, “Wow, you write him every week? That’s a commitment. What do you get out of that?”
The list is long, and much of it has yet to be discovered. I envision we’ll write for as long as he lives.
John is 74. 30 years ago, he robbed Surplus Office Sales in Ontario, California, where he once worked. He fled with $800 after murdering three of his former colleagues. The ease with which I write that, contrasted by the catastrophic damage he caused, is evidence of the layers this relationship holds. It’s complicated. Profound, rewarding, contemplative, transformative, and entirely worth my time—and his.
I’m writing with a man on death row, who lives six miles, and a world away from me. Even in our so-far short connection, I look at the world differently. I have more perspective, empathy, and gratitude. I would never say no to that.
Photo of the Week
Love everything this week! Thank you Simone
Thank you, Parul!