Happy Thankgivingandtaking!
Issue 111
Dearest friends, before this hodgepodge of a newsletter begins, I must wish you and yours a Merry, Jolly, Happy Thanksgiving. I. am. Grateful. For. You. And. For. Us. š
As you give thanks, please also take thanks. Most of you donāt receive worth shit. How do I know? Because itās an epidemicāweāre no good at receiving. We give, give, give, and crumble when weāre given to. Not this year, baby. Itās take time. Happy Thankgivingandtaking! š¦
Last weekend, I attended the wedding of one of my favorite friends from growing up, Jessica, and her now-husband Daryl.
At the event, Stephen and my OG-friend group (ten of us) met for the first timeāzero presh. For context, I have no social anxiety. Yet I have enough meet-my-partner anxiety to fill a football stadium (and always have).
As the wedding approached, I had a mildly crunch conversation with Stephen about my expectations. Among other things, I said, āThis isnāt just any wedding, and these arenāt just any friends.ā Again, no presh.
I didnāt want to put my expectations on Stephen, but I wanted to share my elephant because elephants in rooms block energy, and energy blocks (and leaks) are eventually catastrophic. Iāll have none of that.
Our conversation went in circles until we were satisfied weād each said our piece. Acknowledging elephants opens a can of worms, yet a bevy of suffering is avoided when the elephant is revealed.
With the burden lifted (Iād said my elephant piece, and he responded), we were free to have a rad night, which is exactly what we hadācourtesy of great communication and a beautifully orchestrated wedding.
My date. ā¤ļø
Congratulations, Jess and Daryl. ā¤ļø
A John Update
Itās been a while since Iāve updated you on my pen pal, John, whoās on San Quentinās Death Row.
We lost digital communication because his tablet was down, so we wrote letters again. I didnāt mind the break. I think he did. I finally logged in today and have nine unread messages from him.
Our relationship matters to me, but having something to chat about daily with a man in prison is not easy at all. I can talk to anyone, and Iām pushed. Our reference points are entirely different. Our age. Our backgrounds. The only thing we have in common is being humanāwhich is a whole lot, actually.
In the down-tablet time, he drew me a few pictures and sent me a Halloween-themed photo of him taken at prison in celebration of Pumpkin Day. It was a little creepyāmostly, the photo quality is what youād expect. However, the themed photo was not. Who knew they engaged in such fanfare on Death Row?
A few newsletters ago, I wrote about John asking me a pointed question about our communication: What are your intentions? After a moment of holy shit, he thinks this is romantic, I composed myself and responded as any good professional communicator would. It was a sweet exchange that grounded our relationship immediately.
After this story, Stephen wondered how you all felt about my writing to Johnāare you interested, offended, uninterested, or something else?
Curious myself, I told him Iād ask the peanut galleryāand thatās you.
Job Op
If youāre one of the voters who finds my pen pal relationship with John interesting, you may also find this job opportunity interesting.
GRIP (Guiding Rage Into Power) is a phenomenal organization behind the transformation of thousands of incarcerated persons throughout the United States. The year-long program, started at San Quentin, now serves serval prisons and transforms the menās violence and suffering into healingāfrom the inside out.
Having volunteered with GRIP (even attended one groupās graduation at Deuel Vocational Institution (DVI) in Tracy)Ā and experienced their founder, I deeply respect their work.
Theyāre looking for a Deputy Director of Finance and Operations. Thereās no one less qualified for this role than me. If youāre my opposite (and you live in the Bay Area), go after something meaningful and tell them Simone sent you.
Choose Creativity
Iām listening to a podcast episode featuring a friend of a friend whose two children were murdered by their nanny in 2012 in NYC. Itās a tragic, tragic story of grief and healing.
The conversation is hosted by Andy Ostroy (whose wife was murdered in 2006 in NYC), who talks with Kevin Krim (who lost his children). Itās powerful with lessons of thanks and giving.
The story of Kevin and Marina Krim comes up when I think about John (my San Quentin pen pal) committing murder. I think of how I could never write to the woman who took those kidsā livesāyet, in a way, thatās what Iām doing when I write John. He took lives.
I havenāt squared the conundrum and probably never will. Weāre humansāthatās as far as Iāve gotten.
Unintentionally heavy segment. Forgive me. Letās lighten things upā¦
Youāre a Gift
It wouldnāt be the holidays without 1,000 reasons to spend money. It happens every yearāIām lured into the Black Friday bullshit, only to continue spending well into December. Ay caramba!
I wouldnāt be a proper influencer if I didnāt influence a purchase or two, so here are just a few (there will be more).
These gorgeous Stutterheim raincoats I pimped a few weeks ago are now on sale (sorry, Dori!) For anyone on the fence, nowās the time to dive headfirst into a pool of well-made rain gear.
SendĀ The HeirloomistĀ an item of sentimental value. They photograph, frame, and return it to you to display proudly forever. Goodness knows how much it costs, but itās a very cool idea someone ought to take advantage of (me included).
You're definitely younger than me if you donāt remember the Kit-Cat Clock. Even so, itās cute, nostalgic, and full of personality. Add to cart!
If youāve been on a Zoom with me and seen smoke rising from nowhere, itās not a fire; itās incense. I like incense. In particular, Yieldās incense, and itās on sale. My favorite scent, Hinoki, is sold out, but many others do the trick.
There you have it, a few ideas to wet your whistle. There will be more. š
My Door Is Open
I hope you know you can reply or comment whenever youāre compelled. My door is open, and hearing from you is a joy. Say hi, recommend a product or service, or teach me something I didnāt know. The list goes on, and my door is open.
Happy Thanksgiving btw! The wedding pic was beautiful!
Happy thanksgivingandtaking, Simone! All the best to you and your fam š