I See People
Issue 43 is a reflection
Greetings, new subscribers and OGs. You’re all welcome here. Here we go…
Like Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense, I see people, except they’re very much alive.
The way you have a knack for maps and directions, I have a knack for people and behavior.
It takes me very little to understand someone. With just a few data points, I’m constructing a 360° view of your past, present, and future. I take in clues through conversation. I detect patterns in speech. I listen for your “story,” which you often reveal within moments of our meeting.
I don’t try to do anything. It all just happens.
If I sound God-like, naive, or judgemental, I’m none of those. I’m highly perceptive. Highly. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.
Remember the woman in the ‘80s Pantene ad who warned people about hating her for her beauty? It’s the same with me, but different.
I’ve spent a lifetime in therapy, read a library of self-help books, seen a coach or two, listened to a podcast or 100, coached a fair share of friends, and annoyed my fair share of lovers.
My life is devoted to being a better me. It’s what I have endless energy for. It’s what I do in my sleep and what I work hard for. Perhaps this is the definition of one’s superpower—equal parts hard work and effervescence.
I know you’re wondering how I got this way. Watching my children grow, I see I have had this skill in me since my first breath. Also, I’ve spent 28 years in therapy.
Not counting the first two rounds I had as a youngster—my first visit to a therapist was for being an over-achieving bedwetter. My second was as my mom and stepdad were blending their families.
The real stuff started around 16. Spurred by the kidnapping of Polly Klaas—and the assuredness I was next—I began therapy and didn’t stop until two years ago. At 43, my therapist, Carol, declared me cured. She didn’t, but who’s counting?
In between, there were many, many, many years of anxiety, which I won’t bore you with here. What I will bore you with is my dedication to furthering my superpower and my declaration to use it intentionally more often.
You'll be the first to know when I add coach to my services. I sort of just did. The people I’ve coached can vouch for everything I’ve said. I’ll gather their testimonials and shower you with them in further issues.
I’m blunt, but I care deeply. If you’re stuck, I’m here. If you’d like an ear or a hot poker to your tush (that’s my specialty), I’m here. I don’t have the answers. But I can tell you what I see, which is a lot. Ping me if you’re inclined.
To do:
✅ Soft-launch coaching services.
✅ Send newsletter.
✅ Go to bed.
Then and Now
This feels like the right place for a Haley Joel Osment side by side.
Now that we have that taken care of, we’ll all sleep better tonight.
The 12-hour Walk
I’ve scheduled my 12-hour walk for a few weeks from now. The 12-hour walk is just what it sounds like.
Walk out your door with your phone on airplane mode, snacks, water, chapstick, and whatever provisions you need, and walk for 12 hours.
That’s it.
But there’s a challenge. Did you notice I didn’t say headphones?
The purpose is to be with yourself, un-entertained, for 12 hours—no books, podcasts, phone conversations, music, or outside stimulation.
What the actual fuck?!
This challenge is brought to you by an extreme sportsman who does ridiculous challenges all over the world. His latest book offers laypeople, like you and me, a free challenge that doesn’t require a bobsled or traversing Antarctica.
Physical exercise is a by-product of the walk. The distance you travel doesn’t matter. The 12 hours with yourself does. Can you do it?
Let There Be Lights
I’m buying a couple of portable lamps for my home because it’s outfitted with the world’s worst lighting.
Since I’m doing research, I thought, why hoard? Below are some of the options I found (all very affordable).
If you’re a camper or outdoor diner (who isn’t the latter), any of these will work great for such activities.💡 (ps) They’re all smaller than you think.
Lemon Yellow Cordless Table Lamp: The color is so gross and so perfect. And, they look like toilet plungers, but I have hope. (Update: They arrived and they’re adorable.)
WoodVenture Smart LED Light: These guys targeted me on Insta. They got me, damn it.
WoodVenture Smart LED Torch: Per the above, I was targeted. When I visited their website, I ordered more (of course). These swivel in all directions.
4. Mini Touch Lamps: You’ve seen these at restaurants. My kids couldn’t stop tap, tap, tapping them.
Late to the Lemony Snicket Party
I started reading Emma the Lemony Snicket books, A Series of Unfortunate Events.
The words Lemony and Snicket were not new to me, but I had all along assumed they were Shakespearian or Harry Potteryian in tone (read, no gracias).
At Barnes and Noble one day, after suggesting 1000 titles, a staffer arrived at a shelf. Pointing to a line of books she said, “Of course, there’s the Lemony Snicket series.”
Of course? Of course what? I groaned and read the back of the book aloud to Emma.
“I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe.” (It goes on.)
To illustrate how masterfully these books are written, the author, Daniel Handler, made tragedy sound appealing to an 8-year-old. The book is horrible and charming, and the writing is beautiful. 👍👍
Wait, so will you physically walk for 12 hours or just be disconnected from technology for 12 hours??? I can’t even imagine where I would go on foot for 12 hours. I did run from Tiburon to Mill valley once. It was amazing.
you will be a great coach. and thanks for the lemony snicket rec. I need to get back into reading aloud to kids instead of outsourcing to audiobooks.