The Foolproof Phrase

Issue 98

Good tidings to you and all of your kin. You’re reading Issue 98, two weeks shy of one-hundo. 104 is the big cheese—two years feels symbolic. Celebrate with me then.

The kids returned to school and it’s all the feels. Owen started football as a freshman at Tam High (my former high school) and he’s dedicated! He’s proud. We’re proud! Emma starts fourth grade tomorrow and she’s beginning swim team for the team I swam for in my yute—Scott Valley.

There’s lots of good, with a healthy dose of hard. Grateful and grumpy. Can I be both?

Last night, Stephen threw a beautiful garden honey harvest event at his home and we learned the ins and outs of gathering the gold. Such a sweet treat.

Now, on to this week’s regularly scheduled programming. But first, a word from our sponsor:

If you like, share it!

If you learn a thing or two below, send it to your grandma, subscribe your dog, and let’s build this community. Share The Letter. Tell ‘em it’s new every week, with mostly quality content from a mostly quality lady—product recos, unsolicited advice, word tips, and updates about my life that may pertain to yours.

Read on for an example of The Letter:

The Foolproof Phrase: Never Better

When someone asks how you’re doing, respond with “Never better.” Works etime.

They’llk up, “Oh, wow.” They won’t know if you’re being sarcastic or truthful (not even you know). The words are so positive, it hardly matters.

Try it and report back., would ya?

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Three Words to Describe

There's a game I play when I want a lot of information with minimal effort.

The other night, a friend went on a first date—certain I'd want the details, but not certain she'd be ready to dish, I requested a 3-word update following the date. On cue, I received a text at 8:39 p.m.: "Fun! But, done."

See how much you can say in three words?

Clearly, I don't.

Get Your Greenbacks Back

Basil in a package costs $5 and goes bad in one hour. Basil plants appeal to me for the same price (if only I could keep them alive).

I said something of this nature loud enough to Emma in the grocery store and an stranger angel offered me this advice: “I keep my basil plant on my counter in a Tupperware dish filled with water. They drink so much. It soaks it up.”

Bam! I walked out with the plant, and we’re all living our best lives.

PS: A plastic pot in a dish on my counter doesn’t fly—girl has standards. Now that I have the basics tackled—keeping the plant alive—a classier solution is around the corner.

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There’s No Nerd in Word

Craig turned me on to the New Yorker’s weekly caption contest.

Caption a cartoon and vote on others. Challenge your brain, and have some fun.

Good times!

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Made Me(lon) Laugh

I’m a sucker for anyone poking fun at Elon.

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With deep gratitude for your readership, I bid you adieu. Until next week, friends!

Yours truly, Simone (I have no middle name) Silverstein