Whoever Felt It Dealt With It
Issue 42 will nourish you
Greetings. Welcome, everyone.
One of my kids is away at camp for two weeks. The freedom of one less child occupying the mind is what dancing on the moon feels like.
It’s truly remarkable the space children take up in our minds. There are moments when I pop up from my computer during a workday and wonder, “Where are my kids?” As soon as I’ve accounted for them mentally, I return to the task at hand (which is invariably 100).
It’s not like I don’t think about Owen while he’s away, but I certainly don’t need to feed him, pick him up, or tell him to put away his phone.
Speaking of, we’ve developed quite a lightheartedness around that evil device. Yes, it’s a beast, for sure. But I’m absolutely confident in our way back to connection when we’re out. It involves asking him to check his phone at the door (read: hand it over).
First, he gets angry. I let him know he’s welcome to be angry so long as he doesn’t hurt himself or the house. Shortly after, he softens, and he’s mine again.
I make sure to point out how lovely our time together is without the phone, which makes him furious and gives us giggles.
What Does It Feel Like?
For most people, when you think you’re feeling, you’re actually feeling the resistance to the feeling, not the feeling. That’s a lot of feelings.
Let me say that again because it’s taken me 45 years to understand this (and I’m not quite sure I do yet).
That tightening in your chest, that knot in your stomach, that flush in your face is not the feeling of whatever you believe you’re feeling—jealousy, sadness, shame, what-have-you—it’s your resistance to the feeling.
When a feeling is felt all the way through, it leaves your body as if you’ve gone to the bathroom. Almost nobody processes feelings this way. Instead, we resist the feeling, fearing it’s too intense (remember, the intensity we experience is not the feeling itself, it’s the resistance to the feeling). This causes most of us to live with a lifetime of constipated feelings in our system. Holy shit, right? 🤯
Give some feeling to what I’ve said. We’ll come back to the idea next week.
Q & A. Will Work For Food
Q: I’m so bored of my same-same dinner over and over again. Do I order Green Chef or buy a cookbook and explore ethnic meals?
A: Girl, don’t do the latter unless you have oodles of energy, in which case, spend it elsewhere. Order up the meal kits. I’m about to dive back into myself.
Good Eggs is a solid choice (for Bay Area people). Green Chef is good, too.
After ten years of weekly Blue Apron deliveries, my siblings are now five-star chefs. I don’t recommend this route unless culinary school in a box sounds good to you. The recipes require real-deal concentration. A poor choice if you have ADHD.
Given my propensity for going off-book, I use meal kits' ingredients and flavor profiles and create my version of the dish.
A little improvising never hurt anyone.
Stand Up and Be Counted
My first year in the Chicago improv scene was his last year on earth. I intend to watch this Del Close documentary but haven’t yet. This is a reminder to you and me to enjoy a film on the Godfather of improv.
We’ll discuss it here once we’ve both done so. Enjoy!
Oh, Honey, Honey
Never go to the grocery store hungry.
When I do, I shop with the fervor of a product tester. Packaging catches my eye. Ingredients catch my stomach. And money catches my pocketbook (I love how outdated that word is).
Once home, I get to testing products (read: eating).
Recently, I went to the store hungry. I popped a Honey Bunchies bar into my basket because the package is yellow and has the words coconut and almond. Those are three of my favorite things.
I’m delighted to say it was delicious!
Buy them.
Whether you heed my suggestion or not, spend a minute reading their sweet origin story. If you get lost, as I did, I will feel better about myself.
Enjoy, my sweeties.
This Week’s Photo
I have my Ph.D. in issues that arise when kids put together Lego. Over 13 years, I tell you. Lego has never been wrong. They are meticulously thorough. Therefore, if something’s off, it’s your fault. You must backtrack, and this is where I have my Ph.D.
Legos… yes Yes yes. Definitely.
Also…(in my head I’m suddenly wondering am I subscribed? I ponder. Yes I must be? I’ve been getting these news letters. What if it’s something new?…..) <clicks on subscribe button>
I may have subscribed twice 😂😂
Simone,
That’s a very interesting theory on “feeling feelings”. Where did you encounter it? M